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Post by HY on Sept 30, 2008 8:22:35 GMT -6
Aphorisms for the day. If 1,000,000 people believe a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing When you're going through Hell, keep going A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place When gambling, remember that scared money is stupid money Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you Never play cards with a guy called "Pops" or "Doc" If your life is free of failures, you're not taking enough risks Trust everyone but cut the cards You can't make anything foolproof, because fools are too ingenious There is a mile of difference between "nearly right" and "exactly right" Never eat at a place called "Mom's" Eat right, exercise; die anyway The harder you work, the luckier you get Fathers are pals these days because most don't have the guts to be fathers When you look into the Abyss, remember that the Abyss also looks into you Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself Don't vote, it only encourages the sons of bitches
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Post by Levis12 on Feb 1, 2009 12:19:43 GMT -6
Never mentioned that I liked this last post of yours!
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Post by Levis12 on Feb 1, 2009 18:28:19 GMT -6
Zen Teachings
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10.If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19.We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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